Memories
by The Jester Erebus
Summary: Every time he gazed into Albus Severus' eyes, he saw something different. Albus Severus/Snape, mentions of Snape/Harry and Snape/Lily. Mild slash, nothing graphic. If you do not approve of slash, please, do not proceed.


**Okay, I was bored, and I was working on my next chapter for one of my Snarry fics when I had a strange muse come to me. I have never seen any Snape/Albus Severus fics, which I thought would be a rather curious pairing to explore. What would Severus have though of Al? What memories of Lily and Harry could arise from looking at him? And thus, this story was born. This isn't a mature rated story, but the idea of these two as a pairing might be potentially squicky for some people, even though there isn't any overly graphic content. Just thought I'd warn everyone! **

**In this story, Severus did not die when he was bit by Nagini, but he resumed his post as Potions Master when Slughorn went back into retirement. I still get heart sick every time I think about poor Snape and his untimely demise :(**

Every time he looked into those emerald depths, he saw many different things.

He saw Lily, from all those years ago, her eyes still alive and sparkling like the waves of a green sea on a sunny day. He remembered the love that he held for her, the years of friendship, the memories that they had made together.

He saw Harry Potter in them too. He saw Harry, and the defiance that always glimmered in his eyes, and he remembered the lust that he had had for him, boiling deep and angry inside his gut.

And now he saw the latest child to inherit Lily's gem like eyes, the one who was his namesake, Albus Severus. And the emotions he felt when he looked upon that boy were foreign yet familiar.

This boy was different from his father and grandfather.

Grudgingly, he had to admit that Harry Potter was intelligent, but he had such a reckless spirit, and often did not think things through before he did them. Albus Severus was nothing like that. He was careful, and thoughtful, and while his other brother was playing Quidditch outside, Albus Severus was studying Potions and Occlumency in the dungeons.

He remembered how proud he was when Albus Severus was Sorted into Slytherin, though he did not show it at all. He remembered how the child had trembled, horrified at the prospect that a Potter Weasley hybrid was Sorted into the house of snakes. And now that boy was a man, seventeen now, and he felt such a connection to this bright, courageous individual. He had so much of Lily in him, and he felt an ache deep inside of him every time he looked upon his student.

He could never have him.

It was wrong.

This was worse than his desire for Harry Potter. He was old enough to be this child's grandfather, _could _have been his grandfather. But the love he had for Lily Evans was not a carnal one, it was passionate, yes, but pure and true.

His desire for the second youngest Potter was something entirely different.

He wanted to caress his body, feel the silky skin underneath his callused hands. He wanted to feel his body heat, hot and heady as they moved together as one.

And Harry...

He had wanted to ravish Harry, leave him open and needy, waiting and begging for him. He wanted to control him, to harness him and his free spirit until he lay broken on the floor at his feet.

A knock on the door broke through his thoughts.

He looked up from his cup of tea and watched as Albus Severus walked into his office.

"Professor?"

Severus nodded briskly and gestured to the seat across from him.

"Today is my last day." Albus Severus sat down gingerly in the seat.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really? I had not a clue."

Albus Severus then flushed a very curious shade of bright red. "I, uh. I wanted to thank you. For everything."

"As eloquent as your father," Severus smirked, while he studied those emerald eyes that held his very soul inside the depths.

"I mean it," Albus Severus persisted. "I learned so much from you. And you were there for me at a time when no one else was."

Ah, yes, Severus remembered that well. Albus Severus' hopeless little infatuation with Draco Malfoy's son had confused and scared the young boy, and he went to Severus for help. Though he would never admit it, it warmed Severus' bitter heart to have his student trust him so much with such a secret, and for the boy to seek consul with him, as well.

"As your Head of House and your teacher, it is my duty to take on such undesirable tasks," Severus groused.

"And a family friend," Albus Severus added.

Severus chuckled darkly. "I am no family friend. Your father likes me as much as he likes dementors, and your mother holds me in the same regard."

"No they don't. They really respect you, you know. They even look up to you, I think. I know I do. Why else would I be named after you?"

Severus said nothing, but scowled down into his cup of tea.

"Professor?"

"I think it's best if you leave now, Potter," Severus whispered.

Albus Severus was not as dim a bulb as the generations of male Potters before him. He was not unnecessarily loud and boisterous; he was quiet and calculating. He scrutinized Severus as he fiddled with his tie nervously.

Merlin, though he hated to admit it, this boy fascinated him.

Severus glared at Albus Severus as the boy lifted himself out of the chair and walked towards him with unsure steps.

"I have wanted to say this for a long time," Albus Severus began, and there was a faint tremor in his voice. "I…I have feeling for you, always have, I think. That thing with Scorpius, it was nothing. This, this with you…these feelings I have…they are so much more. I want you so much."

Time stopped, it was just the two of them, Snape and Potter.

"Professor. Professor, please tell me…" He reached out and traced a finger over Severus' forearm. "Please tell me you feel something too. Anything."

Severus could barely breathe. He felt himself slowly losing his control for the first time in many years.

"Anything, you say?" Severus prodded, while Albus Severus nodded his head slowly.

Severus narrowed his eyes.

"I feel disgust that you would let any kind of silly notions like this get to your head."

Severus could feel his heart, fragile underneath the layers of armor he had shielded it with over the years, breaking and tearing as if an earthquake were ripping through him. He stared harshly at Albus Severus, seeing something shatter inside those green eyes. Those green eyes, filled with such pain, and anguish…did the boy really care for him that much?

"This—us—will never happen, boy. I thought you were more intelligent than the rest of your kin, despite genetics working against your favor. Surely you realize the consequences. It is impossible. And even if it wasn't--"

No more.

_No more._

"—I would never even consider anything between us."

_Such lies, Severus._

He saw the faintest shimmer of a tear hanging from Albus Severus' long lashes, dangling like a dew drop on a blade of grass. He had to stop himself from reaching over to him and wiping it away.

Albus Severus stared at him silently, his hand still frozen on Severus' arm.

Finally he turned and walked out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

Severus' hand shook as he reached for the tea again. What a fool he must be, what a stubborn fool, to not accept the offer that was so readily given.

He would regret it.

But wouldn't he regret it if he _did _do something about it? He would be betraying Lily, and the love that he held for her.

Potter and Weasley trusted him, _trusted _him now, as did everyone else. He was a professor. It was his duty to look after the students, not to take advantage of them and their adolescent fantasies.

He did not see Albus Severus for a year after that.

…………………………………………………………………………………..

A sharp knock sounded at the door.

"Enter," Severus snapped, his quill scratching busily over the parchment that he was taking notes on.

A flash of green robes caught Severus' eye, and he glanced up to see—

_Oh, look at how much he has grown._

A man.

"Evening, Snape," Albus Severus Potter said, standing before him in all of his emerald glory, still wringing his hands in agitation after all this time.

Severus grunted wordlessly. He did not wish to express any shock at the boy's appearance, nor any emotion at all, in that case.

"I hadn't seen you at Christmas this year."

Severus rarely went out at all on Christmas, but on occasion would dine with the Potters and the Weasleys, who had _so generously _invited him to all of their holiday feasts.

"I was busy," Severus grumbled while he stabbed the quill point ruthlessly into the innocent parchment.

"Hmph," Albus Severus snorted, and this time Severus looked up in surprise. Albus Severus was usually more timid and less open with his emotions and beliefs than the rest of his family. "Avoiding me, were you?"

Severus opened his mouth to retort, but Albus Severus beat him to it. "Save it. Don't think I don't know. I just wanted to say hello, and clear the air between us."

Severus wasn't one to flatter himself by thinking that anyone could possibly be fond of him, but he could almost hear the words _"I missed you" _coming from the boy's soft lips.

Control was slipping away again, faster now, faster than ever before. Severus' heart pumped harder, the tattoo of the drum beat steady and strong.

He wanted to touch Albus Severus.

His fingers itched to reach towards him, they were drawn to his fair, smooth skin like a Muggle magnet to a piece of metal. He wanted to feel the fire of his passion, the heat of his desire, everything, anything…

Albus Severus must have sensed the abrupt change in Severus' emotions, for he took another step closer to him. This time, his step was sure and true.

Another step.

Another.

Another.

_Another._

And now Albus Severus was on top of Severus, kissing him feverishly, and Severus kissed him back, feeling the hunger surge through him, ebbing through his veins. He kissed him back, feeling like a man that had lived in the desert without any water for ages, and Albus Severus was a cool mountain spring, sparkling and pure.

Severus broke away from the boy, unable to hold back the gasp that fell from his lips.

"No," he whispered. He lifted his hand up to Albus Severus' face and caressed his smooth, warm cheek. "No."

"Why not?" Albus Severus asked, though his tone didn't carry a hint of a whine. It was curious, and melancholy, and Severus' heart ached at the sound.

"We can't," Severus replied. It was the forbidden, and the taboo, and…when had that ever stopped him before?

But he could not betray those bottle green eyes that stared up at him, full to the brim with so many different emotions. Three generations of emerald eyes, that had haunted him every second of every day.

He would not succumb.

"I understand," Albus Severus said before Severus uttered a single word. "Don't you think that I know already, how wrong this is? I know it. But I don't care."

He was still sitting on Severus lap, and Severus prodded him gently, but to no avail.

"I don't care what they think," Albus Severus murmured, his face so close to Severus' that his minty breath ghosted over his face like a cool breeze.

Severus was full of inner turmoil. A war was raging in his mind, and he could feel every wound in his heart.

"I have to get back to my work," Severus said abruptly, shoving Albus Severus off of his lap.

Albus Severus stared at him with a calculating expression on his face. "Stop working for a little bit. You're always working, or doing something productive. Why not relax once in a while?"

Severus raised a single eyebrow. "Relax?"

"Go with me to the Hogs Head," Albus Severus pleaded, and this time, instead of sounding older than he really was like he normally did, he sounded younger.

He was so _young._

Severus stabbed the quill into the piece of parchment ruthlessly and glared up at Albus Severus. "I see that there is no arguing with you."

A broad smile spread across the boy's face. "Come on now, I'll pay!"

"I don't need you to pay for me," Severus muttered indignantly, while a smiling Lily waved at him from the back of his mind. He wasn't betraying her memory. He was helping to preserve it forever.

He gazed back into those green eyes, and he saw all three Potters staring back at him, with so much care and devotion prevalent in the shimmering depths.

He had spent his whole life devoted to this family, first to Lily, and then to Lily's son, and then his son after that.

Perhaps it was time to live, to really live.

To feel _alive._

He remembered the way Lily used to hold his hand, her hand slender and fragile in his own, and so warm…

He remembered the laughter, and the smiles, and the love…

He remembered Harry, and his unruly hair, so much like his blasted father, but so much like his mother with his deep green eyes…

He remembered Albus Severus, who was so different from the rest of them.

He had forgotten how much love one bitter, lonely man could hold in his heart.

And he remembered again.

The End


End file.
